hopefully..

first of all, i'd like to say what a week this has been.

so yeah, i've come to realize that it's got to a point where there's so much in my head, that i have so much to think about. the things i think about .. leaves me confused, and i just don't know what to think anymore. these thoughts leave me with so many questions, with so little answers. and with all this cyber sh*t going on .. i can only take so little. but give me credit for all the things you've thrown at me. so what do i do? i just take it in. i keep my mouth shut because it could lead to a possible fight between us. but don't get me wrong, i would tell you. i know it wouldn't kill me to tell you, but i just can't keep up with the arguments. real talks, you and i both know we hate arguing with each other. and to be real, a few tears have dropped from my eyes in some of the arguments we've had. if you ended up tearing as well, i'm probably like the hundredth guy to make you tear up - but you're the only girl to make me shed a few tears. and if i was the reason for your previous tears, i failed to make you happy. or better yet .. keep you happy. and also, some of the things you post up leaves me worried. it makes me have no mood at all. it even makes me jealous at times. i'm not gonna lie, it really does. you think that i would retaliate, would you? well, i wouldn't. honestly, that's one of the lowest things a person could ever do. and see, if i were to do this .. it would guarantee lead up to another arugument. i wouldn't go that low just to get back at you. i would do nothing actually - cause i just take it in, remember? i wouldn't want you to feel jealous. that's why nowadays .. i try to shorten my conversations with other girls, so that you don't get a feeling of jealousy. what can i say, i choose to do that because i want you to feel like i'm all yours. and in relation to what you post - again, it leaves me worried. maybe there's no intention for it. otherwise, if it's intended for me .. i'm sorry. sorry if i'm not good enough for you. sure, i'm not the most sweetest guy in the world. i'm no shia labeouf or taylor lautner .. but hey, i am what i am. everyone is unique in their own way, no? maybe i'm not the best you've ever had. but honestly .. you're the best that i've ever had. if this left you worried, don't be. i just had to get this off my chest. this doesn't mean you have to sacrifice so many things for me. just keep doing you. i only want you to be happy. but don't get it twisted..

i'm not letting go.

i refuse to.

i'm so into you,

i can't go a single day without talking to you - whether it's a text or not.

i don't want anything or anyone to take you away from me.

i love you so much..

~

- Kenneth Gorospe